“You are way too emotional… too sensitive… awfully loud … too dramatic… demanding… “
When people tell us that we’re too much, it usually means they aren’t comfortable with us being authentic, or expressing ourselves fully. At it’s core, each message delivered a warning:
“You’re too much. STOP.”
Yes, sometimes we need to moderate how we show up. Being rude, offensive or putting ourselves or others in danger – these are cases for our honest introspection or apology.
In this post however I am talking more about our deep and strong feelings, needs, wants, dreams and hungers which might been criticised.
As a reaction of being called ‘too much’, we feel guilty and rejected In our too muchness so we numb ourselves and pull back. But there is a problem – this way we are also shutting down our wholeness, vitality, aliveness, uniqueness, boldness… our unique authenticity.
Now, a surprising question: What if you weren’t too much? What if it said far more about the people delivering the messages than about you?
Because if the person was conditioned to believe his/her strong feelings, needs, wants, dreams and hungers were “too much,” he/she may unconsciously project this message onto you.
So next time when someone calls you as ‘being too much’, explore it. Have you done something inappropriate, which deserves an apology? Or are they reacting to something about you which is actually their own ‘unresolved business’?
And remember… there is a precious gift in your ‘muchness’. If you really accept and embrace your self, you will unlock an incredible potential of your unique Being.
What helps you to step into and embrace your “muchness?” For me it is through active (movement) meditation and breathwork (where I can fully express all my emotions). What is your way?
P.S. Huge thanks to a wonderful B from @theguidedword who shared a precious text which inspired me to write this post. look what she wrote: