“Life will give you whatever experience is the most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.”
One of my favourite quotes from Mr Tolle. Isn’t it comforting that even in those darker days there is the comfort that life has got your back? That the Universe is taking care of you? Holding you with such care, like a parent with a new born child.
It’s a beautiful concept, so is it the truth? And What is Essential support?
If I look at my life situations in the past the support I came to depend on was external. My home, my job, my friends, my parents, the good health of my body, the local supermarket. Take any of these external structures away and the inbuilt survival alarm will kick in and there is that uncomfortable feeling of anxiety. Right? It’s as if someone has hit an internal panic button and we fall into a hole of concern and worry. The mind starts creating all kinds of “what if” stories, backed up by the emotional reactions that take our present moment experience into a tail spin of mental suffering. We lose it!
Relying fully on the external causes suffering and disappointment.
It is great to have an external support structure. It is healthy to listen our survival instincts, which are taking care of our basic needs and it is mature to ask for help and maintain it, if it’s needed. But as we all have already tested on our own skin, external support is not always available. Relying fully on it can bring us disappointment and suffering.
The great news is that there is an internal source of support. And it is shining as a bright light at the end of the tunnel. And the bonus is, it does not depend on outside circumstances.
Essential support arises from an absolute acceptance of Self, of who we are, as we are.
In a nutshell that means it doesn’t matter what other people say about you, the economy or whether you’ve just lost your job. It does not even matter what your self beliefs are, if you are a good or a bad boy, or a sweet or acidy girl.
It arrives from our own Being, our existence. It is something which is not possible to describe easily, but it clearly arises from an absolute acceptance of Self, of who I am, as I am.
How to reconnect to that internal essential support?
For me, it was only when the external structures collapsed and were taken away, that I was able to eventually understand ‘Essential’ support.
By understanding myself and the false beliefs I carried from childhood I observed the fear, guilt and shame dissolve. There was then a feeling of completeness. That I am ok as I am. That completeness led me to a confidence, a deep sense of value and love. I noticed more energy in my legs and a physical feeling of my feet being more connected to the earth. A relaxed grounded sensation. Very comforting.
It was the ‘understanding’ of my emotions that was the key that transformed them into an inner spaciousness. It wasn’t that I did anything. I just gave the emotions some space, connected to them, felt it, lived them yet at the same time observed, watched.
I notice how the internal feeling of support manifests in the legs and the belly. A feeling of competence and ability is there. In the head there is a spaciousness, a clarity, as if Being and mind are collaborating. In the heart and solar plexus there is the connection. Owning the emotion and staying with it.
So the next time some external support is taken away let the feeling hit you. Breathe in to the earth, ground the emotion, relax your legs, let your breath be rhythmic and steady. Observe the moment, let the feelings settle… BE PRESENT WITH THAT.
Of course, there are also times when just beating the shit out of a cushion can be a tremendous help, even a lot of fun. However, life goes on, and whatever it hits you with we need to find the legs to stand back up and continue.
Stay grounded, keep a clear head and surrender to whatever feelings arise in you. They are doors to a deeper sense of self… and there is your inner support. Ready to embrace you any time you ask for.